Writers, Don’t Be So Serious!

Why I stopped trying to prove I was a “serious” writer – and why you should too!

Laughing Girl pic

I have visited this theme before in a previous post, but as my growth arc continues (hehe, you thought growth was only for fictional characters! :D) my understanding has deepened and I needed to touch on this again.

I used to have an obsession with being taken seriously as a writer. For years, I did not want to admit that I was essentially writing a romance. My current WIP is not quite formulaic, but I think it will still fit in the category. When asked what I was writing, I would reply with “fiction” or “historical fiction“. I would have rather choked than admit I was writing about, you know, two people having a relationship centuries ago and navigating around obstacles¬† in the way of that relationship. It was childish behavior, fueled by fear of condemnation from the “literati” who don’t consider genre “real” literature, and the knowledge that our current society often looks unfavorably upon anything that is traditionally feminine — and what is more feminine than love stories?

But, this obsession was causing me to take an overly-serious attitude towards my work. Yes, writers need discipline. Sometimes we need to force ourselves to write or finish projects after the honeymoon phase ends. And we need to devote time and energy into making a truly good, marketable product. However, an obsession with whether the majority of the reading public is going to take you seriously will only hamper your growth as a writer, not promote it. It might even stop you from telling the sorts of stories you love.


So how have I combated this? I simply embraced what is. I like to write romances. This does not make me a silly person. This does not make my writing bad. I just enjoy writing about people and their relationships. And really, what is so wrong about that? My stories probably won’t become some monument to American literature. That’s fine. If I provide other humans with some much needed relaxation and entertainment, that’s great. If I get lots of four and five star reviews and generate some extra income, that’s awesome. All I really want is to put my creations out there. I don’t need to prove myself to anyone — and neither does any other writer.

If you’re a writer who is struggling with validation and serious-to-the-point-of-being-delirious syndrome, take my advice: lighten up. Enjoy what you write. If you do that, your best work will pour out and you’ll find it much easier to polish and sell. Some people will love your writing, some people will hate it. That’s fine. That’s life. Stop seeking validation from without. That only comes from within. Whatever sort of write you are, love that writer with all your heart!

Write on!

How Long Should Writing A Book Take?

clock on book

As you all know, I have been working on my novel for over four years now. I started this blog in 2018 during the second draft. I intend to self-publish in the first half of 2020. Since the time to send my baby out into the world is drawing close, it has me thinking (among a million other things) about how long it took, and asking a question: how long should writing a novel take from beginning to end?

This is a question not easily answered. Writing a book is certainly fun but no cake walk. There’s the first draft where you become hopelessly enamored of your story and write on pure passion, the second draft where you see the myriad flaws in your romance, and usually a third or, you know, sixteenth draft in which you reconcile the first two states and make peace with them. Then, there’s the designing and marketing phase, which isn’t writing, but is every bit as serious and important as the actual writing.

How long is all this supposed to take? There’s no real answer to that. Everyone has their opinions, of course, and everyone works at a different pace. If you have to do any significant research for your book, as I have had to, that can also slow you down. So can procrastination, perfectionism, and all the other tiny incidents that make up the game of life.

As I aim for publication in early to mid 2020, that makes five years of work for this project. I personally feel that is too long and for my next novel, I will aim to complete all drafts and publish within three years or less. The story is percolating within me now, and I intend to start outlining soon, to avoid any sort of writer’s block. Taking several years on end also heightens the possibility of burnout, another notorious writer’s enemy we all should strive to avoid.

If you are a writer, nail down exactly how long you wish to spend with your book and try to stick to your deadline. Your audience will thank you. ūüôā


Write On!




Three Assumptions People Make When You Write About Love

Let’s do some myth busting, shall we?

hokey pic

***  This was the third article I originally wrote for The Odyssey Online in 2017, prior to my decision to self-publish. ***

If you have read my prior posts, you may recall that I am working on the second draft of a novel. It is the story of an unlikely couple trying to survive the unique social challenges and tumultuous events of the historical time period they live in. Now that sounds like what would qualify as a romance. (By romance, I am referring to defined genre stories which usually follow a formula of sorts.) Technically though, I do not think my WIP qualifies as a romance and I am not saying that to be a pretentious, literary snob. If it did qualify as a romance it would make my life a bit easier as I would then know exactly what agents and publishers to submit to. According to my own research, it seems the format would not satisfy the standard model and the time period and country are not popular with romance publishers and, I assume, their fan bases. I think that leaves me out of the game, so I will just refer to it as a love story or romantic historical fiction.
Be that as it may, there is an undeniable stigma attached to writers of romantic fiction. Maybe we are all just squeamish when it comes to emotion. Maybe it’s because it has become trendy to denounce any sort of feelings in literature (the inevitable backlash against over-the-top sentimentality). And because there are unfortunately romances out there that have earned their bad reputations. The criticisms and stereotypes of these stories also extend to the writers of them. Knowing this, I was (and still am) reluctant to admit I was writing a love story. Reluctant to share it with my family and friends and even with the devoted members of my critique group, many of whom I have had the pleasure of working with for years. While all of these people have been supportive and helpful, harsh criticisms and stereotypes abound in other corners of the world and I decided to debunk the ones that bother me the most, at least regarding me and my work. (I am not speaking for all other writers here, FYI.)

1. You Must Be An Unabashed Creator of Smut
Naturally if you are writing a romance or something closely related to it, there must be graphic sex scenes on every other page. The story is set in a distant time so that the characters will have sumptuous clothes to tear off of each other’s perfectly sculpted bodies! There’s no real love going on, just a lot of hot hanky-panky!
fishnet and shoes

 No and no. Sure, there are books like that out there, but that is not what I am doing. While physical relations are a part of it (duh), the true focus is on the building of a real partnershipРaffection, devotion, honesty, fidelity, trust, you know, all those particulars that make relationships work and sustain them through difficult times. The historical backdrop is integral to the plot because if I move it to modern times, the story falls apart. Move it to a peaceful time in the past, it loses the urgency and the happenings that push the characters to behave as they do, especially in the second half of the book. Assumption #1 debunked.

2. You Have Delusions of Grandeur about Relationships
Apparently, writers of romantic fiction are delusionalРor so a lot of people believe. It is assumed that these individuals are hopeless twits incapable of deciphering fantasy from reality, expecting their love lives to be Disney movie knock-offs. I must spend my non-writing time waiting for some gorgeous man to speed up to my house in a new Corvette. We will fall in love on sight and he will whisk me off to his McMansion, filled with roses and chocolate-covered strawberries, where we will enjoy a life of uninterrupted passion and bliss! No arguments and no dirty laundry to do! (You can hear the snark in my tone, right?) I must also be a total diva, driving men away with my unrealistic demands for open displays of affection, expensive gifts and tearful meltdowns.              

                                                                                  dis castle
Survey says: Not. At. All. I am certainly old enough to realize that perfection is an unattainable ideal for neurotics, in relationships or out of them. Do I want a happy, committed relationship? Of course, who doesn’t? Do I expect to fall hopelessly in love at first sight? No, my characters don’t even do that. Do I expect a man to solve all of my problems, fulfill all of my needs, be able to read my mind and agree with me on everything? No, that is not possible and is actually kind of unattractive. I am far from perfect and I wouldn’t expect any man to be perfect either. This all makes it difficult to seek advice when you’re having a relationship issue. People will automatically assume that YOU,¬†crowned Queen¬†of All That is Cheesy, are the problem and instead of a helpful opinion, you will come away with a lecture on not expecting too much or a¬†reminder¬†that real life is not a “story”. ¬†Result? You take a vow of silence regarding your love life. (Actually, that might be smart to do even if you are not a writer. Too many cooks spoil the soup if you get my drift.)

3. You Can’t Really Write At All
This one might be the most insulting yet.¬† Real writers don’t write about things as ridiculous as feelings, especially any positive ones! It’s all too obvious, too concrete, too mundane.¬† Thus, you must be disguising your pathetic lack of skill behind a subject as frivolous, silly, and unnecessary¬†as love. The characters are cardboard cutouts, the conflicts are plastic, and you have no talent.
really pic
Please get off your literati high horse. Love in all forms — romantic, platonic, filial, even agape — is an integral part of the human experience. Why shouldn’t it be brought to the page? I do not like¬†poorly-developed characters and do¬†my best to create¬†ones that seem like real people and give them real conflicts to deal with. The essentials of storytelling should always be upheld and I strive to do so.

Is any of this going to deter me from writing? Not in the least. I firmly believe writers should write the sort of stories they want to read, regardless of what anyone else thinks. So if love is the focus of your work, forge ahead. Some people will adore it, some people will despise it and that’s fine. That’s the way life works. People are not obligated to like you or the art you create. Just write in the unique voice you were gifted with. Refusing to do so would be too great a loss to the literary world.

Write on!